Worth It
by Laini173
Summary: Clary Fray has gone through things nobody should have to. Her past haunts her while she's awake and sleeping, but when three new students arrive at her school, she has no idea they would mean so much to her. Jace Herondale was never curious about girls, but Clary was an exception. But secrets are meant to be secrets. And Jace is determined to find Clary's.
1. Chapter 1

Clary's POV

"You are not my father." I growl. "You never will be."

I stand up as straight as I can, hardly tolerating the fierce pain that heats my body. I pant lightly, glaring at the man who stood before me. Valentine. He stared blankly at me for a moment, before his hand whipped across my face.

A shaky breath escapes from my mouth. Only a slap.

"Clarissa," he said, stroking my cheek. He grasped my chin tightly, forcing me to look at him. "I am your father. We are of the same blood. You have the qualities of myself; charming, unbelievably intelligent, stubborn, murderous." He whispered the last word.

"No." I shake my head. "No! I am not like you."

An evil glint appears in his eyes."No? Well, if you insist on not being related, my dear Clarissa..."

Valentine stalks towards me, and it takes my all to not be sick. A sickening pain form in my head, and I fall to the ground.

"Later, Clarissa, you will be mine. "

.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.

I wake up gasping, my sheets tangled around my body. The surface beneath me is hard, and I realize I've fallen from my bed.

"Jon!" I call out, knowing he's awake. I call him again, panicking. I can't get out of these blankets, and I feel as if I'm suffocating. Oh no. I breathe hard, black dots speckling my vision. My brother appears and untangled me, and I run to the open window.

"You okay, Clary?" He comes and stands next to me. I nod. "It's 6:30. I was about to wake you up anyway. We need to be at school early today."

I smile a bit. "Yeah. New kids, right? Three of 'em." I shake my head and laugh. "Remember the last time we got new students?"

Our school, Wayland High, is only small, so new students are a big deal. They are watched constantly, and always whispered about. The last time we had new students was a year ago, and the people at our school had only just stopped talking about them a few months ago.

Jon grins at me, walking to the door. "Alright. We're leaving in about half an hour, 'cos I want to get coffee. You can get something too, my treat."

He leaves my room and I smile, thinking about how lucky I was to have Jon as my brother. I head over to my drawers and pick out my clothes for the day; a dark green thick-strapped singlet, dark blue jeans, my favourite jacket and my lace up combat boots.

It doesn't take long to get ready, since I don't wear makeup, and I shove my keys and wallet into my back pocket.

"Jon, let's leave already!" I yell. "We're taking my car, and I'm driving, asshole!"

I hear him curse and I grin, slipping out the door and into my car, a classic mustang. My family is pretty well off, so I have two cars and motercycles; one of which I built myself. One of my bikes and cars is for racing only, though.

In a minute or two, Jon climbs into the car and I shoot of, reaching our favourite Café in a matter of minutes.

"What would you like, Clary?" he asks.

"Two pancakes with whipped cream and a hot chocolate with three sugars, please."

"Jeez, Clary, what happened to fruit?"

I roll my eyes. "Jon, I eat healthy, I'm allowed to eat pancakes."

He leaves and I text my mother while I wait in the car. My mother had a huge gallery opening in Florida and Luke, my mother's husband, has gone with her, closing the bookstore for a few days.

The smell of food makes me look up, and I eat and drive at the same time.

Jon shakes his head at me. "I seriously don't know how you can do that."

I smirk. "Jon, if you have forgotten, driving is kind of my forté. Now, let's go meet these poor, poor souls."

Together we make our way to our principals office.

"Ah. Hello, Jon, Clary. These three are Isabelle and Alec Lightwood, and Jace Herondale."

I look up to see the most beautiful people I have ever seen. Isabelle has long black hair, like spilled ink, and eyes like charcoal. She's gorgeous. It doesn't take much to realize that Alec is the one with black hair also, except his eyes are a striking blue. Jace. I look at him and blink. He's beautiful. With golden blonde hair and eyes only a shade darker.

"Isabelle, Alec, Jace, this is Jonathon and Clarissa Morgernstern. "

I tense."Jon and Clary Fairchild." I correct him. Jon glances at me, nudging my shoulder.

"Sorry, yes. Jon and Clary Fairchild. Jon is the school captain and Clary is the head of the student council and art club. "

Everyone looked at me, and I felt myself turning as red as my hair. "Thank you, Mr Penhallow. Come on, we'll give you a tour."

They followed us out of the office, and Jon and I whispered to each other for a second

"Are you alright, Clare bear? " He whispered to me, concerned.

"I'm fine." I reassured my brother .

"So, are you guys from Brooklyn?" Jon asked the trio of new students.

They looked at each other before Jace answered. "Yeah. We've been home schooled most of our lives, though."

I looked up at him, curious. "What's that like?"

"Really boring. " Isabelle answered. She was tall, and I once again cursed myself for being so short. "What's this school like?" She asks.

Jon and I look to each other. He shrugs.

"Well, most of the students are really nice, and despite being only a small school, we still have chess, sports, reading, art, debating and music clubs. The teachers are great, too, though if you get on their bad side, it's your bad luck. "

Alec looks at me, talking for the first time."Track?"

Jon smiles. "Best in the tri-state."

Jace walks beside me, his hands in his pockets. "So, what about you, Ms Fairchild?"

"Me?" I blink. "Oh. Um, I love art, as well as reading. I'm head of art, student council and languages. Jon's on the debate team, and Aline's the captain. I'm a mostly straight A student, and my best friends name is Simon."

His gold eyes sparkle as we walk down the corridor, myself and Jon pointing out the classrooms. "Well, since you asked," Jace finally grins, "I'm into music. And reading. What type of art do you do?"

I blush under his intense stare, glancing at Jon. He's talking to Isabelle and Alec, but watching me curiously. "Mainly painting. Portraits, landscapes, whatever. But, I also draw, and use a few different mediums. If you chose someone, I could probably draw them for you."

I touch my bag, which holds my pencils and art diary. A golden lock has fallen over his forehead and he pushes it back. "Of course. How about... Alec?"

I turn around and squint my eyes at the beautiful boy. Despite his beauty, he looked serious, but I was willing to bet that around the right person, he'd shine like a star. I ponder the challenge as we walk in silence for the next few minutes.

"Okay. Serious, or not?"

His response is immediate. "Both. If you can." A cheeky smile graced his lips.

I look around, trying to picture the sketch, and see that my brother and Jace's siblings have gone. "Of course I can. I have a spare now, and you have..."

A goofy smile graces his lips. "Spare."

We continue to walk until we reach an empty lass room, and I pull him in. "Here. I usually hang out in here. It's not so much of a classroom, though."

It was the language room. Photos covered an entire wall, from all different countries. Comfy sofas were positioned randomly along the outside of the class, and a few coffee tables were on a rug in the center of the room.

Jace moved to the photo wall, his eyes bright, while I sat on the floor against a wall, pulling out my equipment.

"This is amazing!" He turned to be, pointing at the pictures. "You're only in a few photos."

My gaze flickers to him, and I fold my legs over each other tightly. "I don't really like to be in photos. I've been in all of those countries, though."

The golden-eyed beauty walks and takes a seat next to me, his warm body heating mine. We're quiet as I sketch, and Jace hums. It's quite a pleasant sound; deep and calming. We sit like that for maybe twenty or so minutes.

"How long have you been living with them?" I ask Jace as I draw. "The Lightwoods, I mean."

"Eight years. They're a wonderful family. I love them." I can tell. The way he talks about them, with such love and compassion... It's not difficult to see that he loves them. "What about you? Tell me about your family."

I stiffen, my pencil stilling. "I live with a very close family friend and Jon. My mom isn't home too much, she has to work a lot."

Jace asks another question." I heard you have another brother?"

"I don't speak or see him, " I put my pencil down. "Or my father."

The pictures are done. I hand the new boy my sketch book.

"Wow." Jace's intake of breath. "These are... They're beautiful."

"Keep them. I drew them for you, anyway." I stand up. I take a deep breath. Being that close... I didn't like it.

I don't know how I could have forgotten, but as soon as I felt the cool air on my lower back, I froze. I hear a gasp and close my eyes tightly.

"How'd you do that?" His voice is trembling, his attempts at being casual failing.

I force myself to walk. "Fell from a tree. Can you pass me my jacket? Thanks." I tie my green jacket around my waist, hiding the ugly scars. "I need to go. I'm supposed to be meeting with my art teacher." I avoid his eyes. "I'll see you around."

I rush out of the room, leaving Jace. I think I've managed to get away when a firm, strong hand grips my arm. I gasp and turn away, hitting the wall. Jace is in front of me and the distance between myself and him is less than two inches, and my back is flat against the cold wall.

"Why did you leave like that?" His breath fans my face. Minty. My eyes shut tightly, and I stop breathing. Dizziness rushes over me, and my heart beats faster. Black specks dot my vision.

"Let me go." I whimper. "Please, let me go."

Jace stops talking. "Clary? What-"

His body gets close to mine and my eyes fly open. I'm frantic. "Get off of me! Let me go!"

He backs away immediately, his face confused and ashamed. Without a word, I rush away, finding my car with some difficulty. Once I'm in, an uncontrollable sob jolts my body forward. My hand reaches for my phone and dials a number, and a familiar voice greets me.

"Clary?" Magnus sounds slightly concerned. "Is everything okay?" I sob harder at his concern, unable to speak. "Clary, I'm coming to get you. Are you at school?"

I make a weird noise, a confirmation.

"Okay," his voice is soothing. "Stay there and don't drive, okay, biscuit? I'm on my way."

He hangs up and I drop my phone, clutching at my head. Their faces won't leave me alone. I try to keep my eyes open, but with the tears, it's nearly impossible and I'm haunted by faces.

I don't know how long I sit there, my body rocking as I sob, but I don't even hear the car door open.

Hands encircle me and I go to scream. "Clary. Clary it's Magnus. Come on, sweetie, let's get you home."

He carries me to his car, laying me in the back seat. My sobs quiet down enough for him to speak. "Do you want Jon?" I don't answer. "That's okay. Let's just go lay down and watch a movie."

Five minute minutes later I've stopped crying and Magnus is running me a bath. When the waters warm I hop in, and the man who means so much to me washes my hair.

People would think that I should be embarrassed. But it's the opposite-calming. Magnus hums softly as he finishes, dropping a kiss on my forehead.

"I'm going to go get set up. Okay?"

He leaves and I get changed into pajamas, finding Magnus in my bed with chocolate and the TV remote.

I position myself on his lap as I lay down, resting my head on his chest. Soon, after the chocolate and a funny movie, I fall asleep.

_ःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःःः_

Jon's POV

Finally, lunch had arrived. I entered the cafeteria and sat at a table, grateful to be alone. I pick up my phone, about to check my messages, when a timid voice speaks up.

"Can I sit here?" I look up to see Alec, the new boy. My eyebrows raise.

"Sure. Take a seat." I put my phone down, and suddenly his sister shows up, along with Jace.

"Alec!" She says. She turns to me, her face slightly red. "Sorry. Can we sit here?" This time I nod, and they sit down.

The golden boy looks like something is bothering him. "What's up, Blondie?"

He glances at me. "Your sister. She sorta freaked out on me today. Haven't you spoken to her?"

My body goes stiff. "What happened."

"We were in the language room, and she was drawing Alec for me. We were just talking and I asked her about your family. You know, a usual topic of conversation. She stood up, and I saw some scars on her back. She left, so I went to talk to her. I grabbed her arm, not too hard. I spoke to her, and she totally freaked."

Mortified, I unlock my phone to see a text from Magnus.

Call me.

"Excuse me." I mumbled, walking outside to talk to my friend. "Magnus?" I ask as soon as he answers.

"Jon? Oh, great. She's asleep. She called me from the parking lot... It was bad, Jon."

I sit on a nearby table. "How bad?"

Magnjs sighs."Really bad. She was just about to pull her hair out, that's how hard she had gripped it. She was sobbing, saying she hated herself. I don't even think she realized what she was doing. She was going to try and drive. She scratched herself pretty bad. On the way home, she calmed down."

"Do you want me to come home?" My throat was tight. I only had one class left, and I could miss it if I had to.

"No. She's asleep, and you need to get to-" A loud scream came from his end. I could hear him running, and I panicked. "Come home. Jesus, Jon, get here quick."

He ended the call and I got up, rushing to get home. My baby sister needed me, and I had to be there for her. As I rushed through the cafeteria, Jace, Isabelle and Alec caught up.

"Is she okay?" Isabelle asked me.

I shake my head. "No. I'm going home. I'm sorry your first day had to go like this."

"What's wrong with her?" Alec spoke.

"Listen, it's not my place to say. Clary needs me, and I'm going to be there for her."

"I'm sorry." Jack's voiced cracked a little. "I really didn't mean to hurt her. I'm sorry."

I shake my head again as we reach Clary's car. I pull out the spare set of keys from my pocket, unlocking the door. "I'll see you soon."

I speed off, and as soon as I arrive at my house I'm in the door. It's been less than 4 minutes since I got off the phone with Magnus, and my little sister sits on his lap, arms around his neck as she sobs. The sight brings tears to my eyes.

I stride forward and she turns around. My arms open for her immediately, and she doesn't hesitate to hug me back. I tighten my arms around her.

I look up and close my eyes, a tear escaping. I clear my throat.

"Come on, Clary. Let's get you to bed." It was the wrong thing to say.

She pushes herself back. "No! No! I don't want to go to sleep! Jon, don't make me go to sleep, please!"

"Shh. You don't have to sleep." I turn into her room and place her on her bed. "I'm not going to make you."

As soon as she lets go of me, she curls into a ball and cries. I sit next to her, stroking her vibrant red hair.

"I hate it." She sobs. "I hate myself. I hate me."

I look at her. She has raked her nails down her arms and legs, and has blood on her face and her scalp.

"I love you." My sister cries harder and I hold her to me tightly. An hour goes past and she's quiet.

We sit in silence. "I'm sorry."

I glance at her. Clary is looking down at her lap, hands tangled with each other.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. Now, how about we get up and go get dinner?" I clap my hands and Clary looks at me weirdly.

"It's 4:30 in the afternoon, Jon." Her tone is dry, and I grin. She's back to herself.

"And? "

She sighs. "Only if it's Taki's."

I give her a kiss on her cheek. "Perfect. Get dressed. Be ready in five. Magnus can drive."

I exit her room and go into the kitchen, seeing Magnus at the counter.

"Thank you." I say, grateful. He looks tired, bags under his eyes, his eyes opened wide. He sends me a small smile.

Clary skids into the kitchen, her shoes in hand. "Mags. You coming to Taki's?" She forces a smile on her face as she hops, trying to put on her sneakers.

"You know," Magnus speaks. "It's easier if you actually untie the shoelaces." Clary looks at him, and her smile disappears. She takes three large steps forward and wraps her arms around his torso.

Magnus pushes his dark blue hair back, the rings on his fingers sparkling. "I love you, biscuit. Now, let me go get all glamoured up. And brush that hair!"

He lifts a piece of my sisters curly red hair, making her giggle. It's a precious sound. She releases him, smiling as he leaves.

"We don't deserve him, you know." I turn my gaze to her. She's leaning against the marble bench, focusing on some place on the floor. Shaking her head, she looks up.

"I spoke to the Lightwoods and Jace at lunch."

Her eyes narrow. "Oh?"

I take a step towards her, and she sighs. "He didn't mean to, Jon. It wasn't his fault. You know me. Normally it wouldn't have bothered me."

"Exactly." I say sharply. "What. Did. He. Do?"

Clary laughs at me. Laughs!

"You worry too much. I had a bad dream. I was jumpy. He saw a bit of my back and I kind of freaked. I was leaving and we ended up in close proximity. I just panicked. You worry too much." She murmured again.

Can she blame me? She went through things nobody should have to go through, and she expects me not to worry when she has a minor mental breakdown?

Before I could say anything, Magnus appears. Bits of glitter make his hair twinkle, and his lips are painted to match his hair. Black makeup, eyeliner, I think it's called, surrounds his bright eyes.

With a wave of his hand, he drops to one knee before Clary, holding out his hand.

"Let's go."


	2. Chapter 2

**I am so sorry. I've been jam packed with exams and assignment, and I lost my work twice. I'm gonna try to stay on a weekly schedule, I promise. I'm sorry.**

 **Question of the chapter: What's your favourite Shadowhunter novel and why?**

 **TMI quote of the chapter: 'His eyes were green' - City of Heavenly Fire**

Clary's POV

As soon as we entered Taki's, I felt at ease. The warm atmosphere was light and busy, and a sort of glow filled the air. A smile caressed face; a real one. These people were my family.

"Jon! Clary! Magnus!" A girl called. She had dark skin and darker hair, and by her side were two boys- an extremely fit looking boy, with tattoos covering his arms, and another pale, stringy boy, fiddling with his glasses. He stood there as the other two moved, his eyes on me.

I run towards him, my arms flying. He laughs and his arms encircle me, a familiar warmth.

"Simon." I dug my head into his chest, breathing in his scent.

"Clary. God, I've missed you so much! How are you? "

I leant back to look at his face. "Fine. Everything's perfect. How are you? How was your holiday?"

Simon's eyes narrowed. "Liar." He pulled me to him again before letting me go. Together we navigated our way through the restaurant to where Jon, Magnus and some close friends, Jordan and Maia were seated.

"Hey guys." I greeted. It had only been two weeks since I'd seen them, but it had been a month since I'd seen my best friend.

We made idle chatter until the waitress appeared.

"Hey, my favourite people! What can I get you guys? The usual?" Aline Penhallow grinned wildly at us. "Clary, I heard you have a few new students, huh. Tell me, are they hot?"

I sigh, fanning myself with a menu. "Oh, Aline! The boys truly are gorgeous."

A small frown appears on her face. "Boys?"

I chuckle. "But, the girl, Isabelle, is absolute dynamite."

Alines eyes light up. She sends me a wink before walking off with an ear splitting grin on her face.

Everyone on the table looks at me. "What?" I ask defensively.

Simon leans forward. "The boys are gorgeous, huh?"

I blush. "Whatever. I need to go to the bathroom."

"I'll come with. " Simon stands and walks with me, his arm around my shoulders."Are you okay Clary?" He asks me quietly.

I want to say yes. But I can't. I can't lie to my best friend. I look away, my throat constricted. "No."

"Do you feel sick?" I shake my head.

"Look at me." I turn my head to Simon. He pulls me in for a tight hug, and I go do my business. As I'm washing my hands, a sudden wave of dizziness and nausea overcomes me, and I rush back into the stall, emptying the contents of my stomach.

I hear the door open, along with a click of heels. I try to get up, but heaves throw my body forward.

"Oh my God" A feminine voice cries. A familiar one. The sound of her heels grows louder as she holds my hair back. "Clary? It's Isabelle Lightwood. I'm so sorry about what happened today."

I throw up again at the thought. "Dammit." She's frustrated. "I'm making this worse. That boy out there, what's his name?"

"Si... Mon."

She calls his name loudly and he enters the room quickly. "Clary." He groaned. "You said you weren't feeling sick."

I glare at him, my energy wasted. I think my moment of sickness is over.

"Well, I was feeling fine until I washed my hands, Lewis? Oka-" I was wrong. It wasn't over.

Simon moved forward and grabbed my hair.

"I'm Simon. I take it you've met Jon as well then? He's sitting at the booth in the right corner, and there's a girl named Maia there. Can you ask her to come here? Don't mention this."

In the few minutes she was gone, Simon was telling me about his month in Maryland. I was alright for most of it, just dry heaving now. I guess I had nothing else to give.

Maia arrived, and just like Simon, sighed. I gave her as a sheepish smile.

"Hey Maia. "

She shakes her head at me. "Clary, you need to take care of yourself. "

I stood up, with Simons help, crossing to the mirror. "You wouldn't happen to have any gum would you? Preferably mint?"

Handing me one, she tied a jacket around my waist. "We'll just tell the boys we had a fashion emergency."

Isabelle was quiet as we left the rest room. "Would you like to sit with us, Isabelle?"

She looks surprised. "Sure. Can Jace and Alec come with?"

"Sure." I reply. Isabelle rushes off to get her brothers, and we see Aline on the way.

"Aline," Simon greets her. "There's been a table change- those who were sitting at table... 4? Yeah. They've moved to sit with us."

Aline smiles. "Sure."

We slide back into our booth, creating room. Magnus, Jon and Jordan stare at us. "Fashion emergency." Maia says.

Jordan raises a perfect brown eyebrow. "Simon?" He gave my best friend an incredulous glance.

He shrugged. "A male opinion was needed?" Magnus narrows his eyes.

Suddenly, three shadows are cast over our table. I look up. "Guys, this is Isabelle," she waves. "Alec," a nod, "and Jace. They're new to Wayland High. I've invited them to sit with us. "

Jace avoids my eyes as he takes a seat next to me, Isabelle and Alec on the other side. Magnus stares at Alec, and the black haired beauty murmurs a hello.

"So, " Jordan says. "Tell us about yourselves."

And just like that a conversation begins. I can't concentrate. Jace's thigh is pressed firmly against mine, his heat radiating even through his and my own jeans. The feeling's pleasant, nothing like the way it had felt earlier, and I wanted him to be closer. Someone tapped on my shoulder.

I turn my head to see Jace smiling at me, just a little bit. "I'm sorry about today," he says. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

His deep voice sends a shiver through me. "Jace, you didn't hurt me. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I'm the one that should be sorry."

I smile at him, and everyone else continues to talk. A wave of laughter sends Simon in my direction and I move away to avoid being knocked.

"Sorry, Fray." Simon apologises, glancing at me. I'm pressed against Jace, and his arm is by my side, his left hand touching my hip very lightly. But I feel it. It's so distracting. I look at Simon, and he discreetly sends me a wink, his eyes sparkling.

"I'm sorry." I say to Jace, my cheeks flushed. I go to move away, and his fingers move softly.

"No, it's fine." He swallow, his smooth throat bobbing. "You look tired. Are you okay?" His concern makes my chest warm. This boy hasn't even known me a day.

"You're right; I'm exhausted." I agree. "I should probably go home."

But Jon looks so happy, like the 18 year old he really is. Taking care of me is taking a toll on him. Guilt floods me. He deserves a night off.

Jace catches my look. "I can take you home, if you want?" He blinks, staring down at me.

His eyelashes are long, making his golden eyes look even more gorgeous. I nod to him. I lean over the table, tapping Jon on his shoulder.

"Jon? I want to go home." He stands up. "No! You don't have to take me. You deserve a night off babysitting duty." I smile crookedly. "Jace offered to drive me."

"No." His arms fold over his chest.

"Jon, it's fine. I'll text you when we get there." My brother sighs and runs a hand through his white blonde hair, and drops his head a fraction in affirmation.

Nodding to Jace, we exit the booth. We walk in a comfortable silence, and once we reach his car, I grin.

"What? " Jace starts to smile.

"I didn't get to see Isabelle and Aline meet." I laugh. "It was going to be epic."

He starts his car. "And why is that?"

"Aline is one of the most flirtatious people I know; and she's a lesbian. Our conversations are great."

Jace looks surprised keeping his eyes on the road. He lives around the corner, apparently, from my own house. "She flirts with you?"

"That's the understatement of the year." I snort. "I freaking love Aline, though. She's awesome."

We make small talk until we reach home, and I love it. This boy, he's unlike anyone I've ever met. He's kind and funny, cocky but modest, sweet and sarcastic. He talks with a passion that hardly anyone could rival, and though I've only known him for a day, my heart's soft for him.

"Do you want me to come in?" He asks me shyly.

"Of course... If you want to. We can watch a movie or something." I move to unlock the door, welcoming the Golden boy inside. "You can choose a movie, I don't mind. Their over on that shelf."

I point to the wooden shelves set up on our wall and make my way into my bedroom. I grab a pillow and a light blanket, along with a bar of chocolate. Traveling back to the lounge, I take a seat next to Jace, offering him chocolate, which he declined.

"Which movie? "

"Pulp Fiction." His smile was soft and shy. I grin and lean back into the couch, watching as the opening scene came on.

I'm not sure how long I stayed awake, but it felt like minutes before I drifted to sleep, next to the most beautiful boy in the world.

Jace's POV

I woke up to the delicious smell of bacon and another body pressed against mine, radiating warmth. My shoulders relaxed as I see her, closing my eyes for a moment.

Clary was beautiful, gorgeous. Fiery red hair paired with witchy green eyes were enough to make anyone stop and stare. Including myself. I slowly pull my arm from its position around her, and realise I slept well. Great, actually.

The smell of bacon beckons me as I rise and make my way towards it, feeling a lot more than awkward. In the kitchen stands a tall, dark-blue haired boy, who looks like he belongs in a full time night club. Jon stands next to him, and I clear my throat.

They both look at me, Jon's green eyes cold and the other man's eyes a yellow colour.

"Um, hi. " Oh my God. Jace Herondale, I think, mortified. What is this? Um, hi? Dude, you're the cocky, arrogant, stunningly attractive Jace Herondale!

"Hello." Jon greets me dryly. "Did you sleep well?"

His sarcastic tone irritates me, and I bite my tongue to keep from making a remark I might regret.

"Magnificently, actually." I ground out. "Possibly the best nights sleep I've had." I'm not even lying, in fact, I'm holding back, but the look of rage on his face makes it worth it.

The tall boy with makeup on, Magnus, I think his name was, steps in. I remember him from Taki's. He was flirting like crazy with Alec.

"Oh, stop it, Jonathan. Magnus Bane, " I shake his hand. "Would you like some bacon?"

I readily accept, and Jon exits the kitchen grumbling.

"So," I say. "You're a close friend of Clary's?"

Magnus looks up at me, putting down his food. His eyes gleam dangerously. "Yes. I've known her since she was a baby. Now listen, Mr Herondale, because I'm saying it once. Do not hurt my child. She's been through hell and back, and by the looks of things, you haven't had the best time of your life, either. Take it slow."

I lean back in my chair startled. What had Clary been through? My thoughts go to her family. Her brother and father- them leaving would have been tough. I let our a breath of relief when I realise that she hadn't gone through anything that would haunt her forever, like me.

"How did you guess?" I ask. I try to hide my emotions, and I know I do it well.

Magnus sighs. "We learn to recognize one another. A parent-less child always knows another one. I'm sorry for your loss."

My eyes cast downward and I hear light footsteps heading our way. I grin.

"Good morning." I watched as Clary yawned, her hair bright and tangled. Magnus smiled, and I could see how much he loved her. She deserved it.

And when she looked at me, her green eyes dazzling, I couldn't help the giant, shit eating grin take over my face.

"Good morning."

Clary

As soon as Jace left, Jonathan and Magnus were in front of me, the former with his stormy eyes and arms crossed, and Magnus with a small smile on his face.

"What did he do?" Jon demanded and I rolled my eyes. "Hey! Don't roll your eyes at me."

I hold my hands up in defence, moving towards my bedroom. "Nothing. Seriously... We watched a movie, talked and I fell asleep." I pause. "I slept quite well, actually."

I focuses on me, and I freeze. "No nightmares?"

I shake my head, tense. "I still had them, I just... Didn't scream or anything." I shrug and enter my room, leaning against the door behind me. I sink to the ground sighing. Being me sucked. Swiftly finishing my pity party, I dress in the same jeans from yesterday, and pull a very dark red, long-sleeved top over my shoulders.

"Magnus! I'm gonna skate today! Love you, see you soon!" I shout the statement, slipping into my shoes. I brush my teeth and attempt to tame my hair before I run into the driveway, dropping onto the curb.

Skating was another thing I loved. My roller blades allowed fast and easy travel, and I arrived at school within fifteen minutes. At the entrance was Isabelle and Alec Lightwood, looking amazed as Jace turned, his gaze locking with mine, making my heart skip.

Holy shit.


	3. Chapter 3

**So, third chapter. Next chapter we'll see a close up of the relationship between Jace and Alec, and a few tears will be shed. I hope everyone had a happy new year.**

 **Question of the chapter: Which country are you from? I'm an Aussie, myself. (Pronounced: Ozzy) It's just spelt that way, dudes.**

 **TMI quote: "No one blames her."**

 **"That never matters," said Alec. "Not when you blame yourself."**  
― **Cassandra Clare** , **City of Lost Souls**

 **CLARY POV**

A lot had happened in the past month.

I stayed quiet as me moved through the hallways of the school, deep in thought. What was this thing I felt? It was attraction, I knew that, but it was so strong. It was like I had to be near him, for as long as possible.

But I also felt terror. Being near him was something I couldn't do. The other night was an exception, and it can't happen again. I won't let it happen again.

"Clary? Are you even listening?"

As I said, a lot has happened in the last month. Isabelle and I had grown quite close, and Jace is still fresh in my mind; always there, driving me nuts. Isabelle stood to my left, a safe distance away. Her eyes softened when I looked at her, and she sighed, moving to loop her arm through mine, stopping when my body stiffened.

She went to move her arm away, and I grabbed it lightly. "No," I say quietly, my voice husky. The beautiful girl next to me relaxed, and smiled a bit.

"No as in you weren't listening, or no, as in, 'don't move your arm even though I cannot stand having people close to me'?"

"I'm trying to work on it." I sound strained. "I am really trying. Really. But," I shrug, an attempt to appear casual, though my voice gives me away; it breaks halfway through my next sentence. "It's so hard. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do."

My thoughts go to Jace, and my knees nearly bail out when I picture his beautiful face, and the longing in his eyes. His little touches, on my arms and hands, or stroking my hair have left me with an ache in my gut, and my heart goes crazy.

He's so nice and charming and funny. But he's dangerous. He's powerful and dominant, I can feel it.

"I know." We walk in silence for the next few minutes. "Are you still coming over tonight?"

"I think so. Is Jace going to be there?" I ask, a blush adorning my cheeks, and Izzy frowns.

"No. I know you don't feel comfortable around him, so he's going out for the night."

"You told him?!" I exclaim loudly, stopping in my tracks. The raven-haired girl beside me casts a bewildered glance in my direction.

"Of course not! He already had... Plans." Her tone darkens as we exit the school, heading to my car. Izzy isn't the best driver, so I do the carpool. I think of what his plans are, and then her tone of voice makes sense.

"Oh." I say in disdain.

Izzy snorts. "He and Alec are going out, and Jace has a is bringing a date, so to speak. Some blonde he met today. He's only gonna do her once, and then she's dumped. They're hardly ever considered good enough for a second fuck."

Of course. He's gorgeous, it's obvious he's going to do... That. But that doesn't help the sudden pressure that forms in my chest.

My ears ring and I cover them, trying to sound normal. "I do not want to talk about your brothers sex life, Isabelle. And you shouldn't either. Now, I'm changing the subject; are you coming to watch me tonight, or will I see you at yours?"

She grins wickedly. "Of course I'm coming to watch you race. It's gonna be awesome! Where is your bike, anyway?"

"It's already at the track. If you're okay with it, I want to head straight there. Maybe I can do a few tricks before the race."

A smile slips onto my face, the weight in my chest lifting. Racing was something I loved to do. Roller blading, car or bike, racing was one of my best skills, nearly tying with my art.

"That's cool. Are there any hunks where you race?" I chuckle.

"Izzy, I race against males only. Of course there's some good looking guys." I go quiet and drive in a comfortable silence. But Izzy being who she is, can't stand silence.

"Clary?" She asks timidly, very unlike her. "If I ask you something, will you answer it honestly."

My brows furrow, and a sinking feeling forms in my stomach. "Depends. I'll be honest, but I might not answer. I'll tell you if you take it too far, so ask away."

Her fingers drum lightly on my dashboard, a nervous gesture. "Why are you so uncomfortable around my brother?"

I relax a fraction. This isn't the question I was expecting.

I take a deep breath. "Obviously, I am attracted to Jace. Madly, crazily attracted to him. But he scares me. That's why."

"You're scared of him?" It wasn't the answer she had predicting. "Why?"

"I can't really explain it. It's just a sensing thing... He'll hurt me. Maybe he won't mean to, but he will."

"Okay. Where is you father and brother?"

"Jail." My words came automatically, and I cursed myself internally. This happens more often than people think; not being able to control what I say, in a certain sense.

Izzy looks bewildered. I'd stooped driving a while ago, parking in front of the stadium.

"Why?"

I can feel my eyes darken. "They hurt somebody I know. Really badly...She nearly died. Those monsters should be dead for what they did."

Again, the words come without my consent and I snap out of whatever haze I was in. "We're here. Let's go."

A few minutes later I had my bike set up and my gear on. I climb onto my motorcycle when Izzy speaks for the first time since we left the car.

"Where's your helmet?" Her voice is slightly panicked and I laugh, pointing to a bench.

"It's over there." She turns around, presumably to grab it, but as soon as her back is turned, I Rev my bike and shoot off, a grin on my face. I hear Izzy scream as I near a ramp, and I go faster. I fly I to the air, twisting and turning before I land.

When I turn the corner, my bike tilts until it's less than a foot from the ground, and I let out a laugh, before pulling to a stop in front of Izzy.

Her eyes are wide. "Clary Fairchild! Just what the Hell is wrong with you?" She storms up to me, poking my chest. I look down at her finger and step back.

"I'm okay. I'm sorry for scaring you." I give her a quick hug, and she relaxes. "Now, find your seat, because the stadiums about to get filled."

Just as I said that, a crowd came through, and I took my helmet from Isabel, shoving it on. "Quick. I'll see you soon." I flipped down the face guard, grinning.

"Red!" A deep voice booms and I whip around faster than I thought I could. "I thought it was you."

He holds his arms out for a hug, and I shoot out my hand. "Bat." I say affectionately. "How are you?"

Ignoring my question, he places a kiss on my hand. "They should be dead for what they did to you. I should have killed them."

My heart aches, for him, not me. "I'm fine." I lie. "You ready to race?"

"Of course I am, Clare. But just a question of interest, who was that piece of dynamite you brought with you?"

I laugh, and we walk together, wheeling our bikes. "Isabelle Lightwood."

Bat groans. "Even the name! Sucks she has a boyfriend, though."

"What?"

The massive man points into the stands, and I lift my visor. "Blondie. I'm guessing the black haired dude is her brother."

The blondie is Jace, which isn't a surprise. Alec sits next to them, looking excited. Isabelle stands next to Jace, appearing to be scolding him. I don't see his 'date' anywhere.

Bat looks at me. "I guess not. You wouldn't have feelings for your friends beau. Who is he?" He sounds protective.

"Jace Herondale. He's her adoptive brother." As if he heard me, Jace looks down at us staring.

"Shit!" I turn away, flipping down my visor. "Bat! Don't look!" I plead, and a horn sounds the line up for our race. The stadium was packed, and I lined up next to Bat and Luke.

"Hey, Luke."

"Hello, Red."

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first race of 2016! We have a few special guests for you!" The crowd cheers. "Six time bronze, Alaric, on 'Alcatraz 24'!"

Alaric steps forward and raises his hands, earning a cheer. "Five time runner up, Bat, on 'Riptide 17'!" I grin and clap wildly as one of my closest friends steps forward the crowd going nuts.

"And finally," the announcer, Meliorn, says, "Racing since she was eleven, winning championship for seven consecutive years going, and has travelled all around the countries, dominating competitions in both motorcycles and cars... Clary Fray, on 'Kuma'!"

I step forward like those before me, and I'm defended by cheers. Finally, we aboard our cycles and race.

 **Jace POV**

I seriously have to admit that watching Clary race, and win, was one of the hottest things I've ever watched. She's next to another biker, Bat, and Alec, chatting and laughing. I couldn't help feeling jealous. We had some type of connect, or whatever, and she had been avoiding me.

"Where's your hot date?" Izzy asked when the race was over, her arms folded across her chest.

"Bros before hoes." I gesture to Alec, who is down on the track, talking to Clary. "You know he loves bikes."

"Did you know Clary was here?" Yes. "No. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Stay away from her." Izzy demanded and I stood quickly.

"What? Who are you telling me what to do?" My body is tense, and I feel my face heat up. Clary wasn't some possession Isabelle could claim.

"I know her, and I know you, Jace. I've seen how you are with girls, and Clary doesn't need that. She's been through a lot."

"And I haven't? I watched my father get murdered, Isabelle." My voice is low.

"And Clary has been on the receiving end!" She snaps, and her eyes go wide. Her hands fly to her mouth.

"What?" I whisper, sitting down.

"Tell me you haven't noticed anything strange about her, Jace."

Clary flashes in my mind. Her horrible scars, her quiet nature, the way she's wary. Why she freaked out and doesn't like going near people. Near me.

"She's scared of me?" I knew the answer before I looked at her, and my stomach dropped. "Oh, God. Izzy, what happened?"

"I don't know." She says quietly. "You can't tell her anything or treat her differently, okay? She doesn't realise how much I know. You can't tell her."

I stand back up, nodding to Izzy. "I really like her, Iz. I wouldn't hurt her."

We walk down the stands to see that most of the racers had gone, just three or four left. Alec was with Clary, laughing.

"I know." My sister says. "And for the record, she likes you too."

We finally reach Clary and my stomach tightens, Bat staring I passively at me. Alec smiles and claps me on the shoulder.

I clear my throat. "You raced really well." I say to Clary, and she shrugged.

"It's what I do. Where's your date?"

I glance at Izzy, who's picking at her nails. "Chick's before dicks. I had plans with Alec first, and I can't bill on him."

"Well then. Aren't you a good friend. Are you, uh, going back to Izzy's?" She was quiet, and the new information sank in. Someone's hurt this girl. Horribly. She doesn't live with her brother, father or mother... Them.

"I was going to stay at my place, actually." Her shoulders drop, and Bat dips his head to whisper in her ear. Clary's eyes flick to mine and she whispers a short response to him. The buff man sends me a glare and hugs Clary tightly. My jaw clenches, and Alec and Izzy send me knowing looks.

"I know you're into her," Alec murmurs. "But they're just friends. They've known each other since they can remember. Calm down." I narrow my eyes at my brother. "Are you staying at yours or mine?"

I pause to think. Clary is staying with Izzy, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. My parents left me their house, and I stay there a lot, and Alec can come over. "Mine. You wanna come?"

He must have sensed something in my voice, because his eyes softened and he nodded. Despite what Isabelle said, I had to talk to Alec. We never kept secrets, and he always knew how to handle things.

Finally, Bat left, and Isabelle spoke to Clary.

"Do you mind riding with Alec? I need to talk to Jace."

"Alright. I guess it's my lucky day then, hey Alec? I get to drive you to your place." She sent a crooked smile in our direction, and my heart beat faster. This girl was so beautiful, so incredibly beautiful. We walk out of the stadium, and Alec and I talk.

"I'll speak to her if you want."

I shake my head. "No. I don't want to upset her. I gotta follow you back anyway."

When we reach the parking lot, Alec sends me a good luck smile at Izzy's glare, and with a last glance at the red haired girl, I slide into the car.

 **ALEC POV**

Sitting in the leather seat next to Clary, I relax. Although I hardly know her, I know that she makes me feel comfortable. Clary, however looks, well, not tense, but not relaxed.

"You can relax, you know." I say gently. She casts me a small smile, visibly relaxing. It's roughly a half hour drive to my house, and we're silent for a few minutes.

"You know, I've always been bullied." I'm quiet, and she sends me a small look. "Since I was nine. Kicked, beaten. One time, they hurt me so badly I was in hospital for eleven days. That was last year. A few months before that, I'd come out as gay to my parents."

"And what's wrong with being gay?" Clary says, her hands tightening on the wheel. "Nothing. There's nothing wrong."

I smile. "I know. But my parents didn't agree." I let out a sharp laugh. "They kicked me out. Jace and Izzy were furious. I stayed at Jace's place, and my parents didn't talk to me for eight months. So Jace and Isabelle didn't talk to them. Izzy moved out until they came begging for us to come home."

"And you've forgiven them?" Her tone is slightly incredulous, and I nod.

"Yes. What's the point of holding it against them? They're sorry. That's what matters."

Clary's eyes darken dangerously in the mirror. I think for a moment, and meet her stare in the mirror.

"You want to talk about it?"

I can see her contemplating it. Finally, she nods slightly. "I feel really comfortable around you for some reason, Alec. You make me feel calm." She takes a small breath. "I can't say much. But... I was hurt. Really badly. Attempted murder. I was in hospital for three months, and go to therapy every second Tuesday and Thursday. It really messed me up."

"And they're gone?" A red light appears and we stop.

"My mom blames herself. Magnus blames himself. Jon blames Jon and I blame me. My own mother can't look at me. At it."

"At what?" Turning, Clary positions her back towards me.

"Don't tell anybody." She whispers. She lifts up her shirt, and I can't help the strangled sound of shock that escapes my mouth. Scars. Her back was covered in them, and they reached around her ribcage. They had been etched deeply into her skin, I could tell, and there were dozens of them, overlapping the length of her back.

"Please tell me he's dead." The anger in my voice can hardly be contained. I'm horrified. The bastards has to be dead.

"They're in prison." Her shirt falls. We go when the light turns green. We're both quiet and I think about what I know about this girl. Magnus, my cheeks turn dark. He said something about her and her brother.

 _"Do you have any family?" I ask Magnus, his pretty face distracting._

 _"Clary is my family. She has two brothers."_

 _"Oh? Where's her other brother? And her parents?" Alright. So I might have been digging. Jace was interested in Clary, and it was my job as a bro to find out things about her._

 _Magnus narrows his eyes. "Jonathan and Clary live with me. Their mother works in California, and her father and Sebastian are in prison."_

 _"Prison?" I was shocked._

 _"They hurt someone." He explained vaguely. "You know, your eyes are so gorgeous. "_

 _I blush_.

"Your brother and father?" I ask. It was a bold move, and Clary goes as stiff as a board. I take that as a yes. "I'm sorry." I feel guilty. "It's none of my business."

"You're right, it's not." Her voice is teary. "But, I feel safe around you. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

After driving for another few minutes, we reach my house. We both step out of the car, and I hug Clary rightly. She only tenses for a second before she relaxes in my arms.

"Thank you." She whispers. She tucks her head further into my chest, breathing in my scent. "It means a lot." Smiling, I drop a kiss on her forehead. My eyes subconsciously shift to her neck, where I see her scars, and my smile disappears.

"It wasn't a problem."

We pull apart and she gives me another small smile before she goes inside, Izzy right behind her. I turn around, my head down as I walk to Jace. I lift my head and stop at his wide, angry stare. His eyes glow with his jealousy.

I let out a nervous chuckle. "So." I say awkwardly. "That was eventful."


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sorry for the short chapter, but it's been so bloody hot, and mustering up energy is so difficult. I'm working on writing on something else, as well, so yeah. School starts back up next week, so I should have more energy to write. Enjoy**

 **Quote of the chapter:**

 **"** **The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me."**

* * *

 **JACE POV**

The car ride to my house was silent. I knew I was being irrational, getting jealous over Alec. But the way she held him, and smiled at him made me more jealous than anything ever had.

"I'll see you inside." I mutter, slamming my car door. In a second my brother had caught up to me, his hand on my arm.

"I know you're jealous," he stated. I ignored him, unlocking the door. "But you're being a bit of a dick, and that's uncalled for."

With a sigh I turned to him."What'd you guys talk about?"

We entered my house, moving into the spare room. It had a piano, three bookshelves and a sofa. I flopped onto the sofa, resting my arm over my eyes.

Even without seeing, I know Alec sat on the rug next to me, his back against the couch.

"Not much." I moved my arm to see him shrug. "I told her about the bullying. That was about it."

"You're lying." I say, sitting up straighter. "Why are you lying?"

"I'm not lying!" He argued. "I'm just not telling the full truth!"

At my pointed glare, he sighs. "Alright. Enough with the death glares. As a pure gay, I can tell you it's unattractive." His nose screws up. "Really unattractive."

"I am stunningly attractive." I defend myself, but give up on glaring. "Nothing makes me look unattractive."

Except Clary. Her beauty was far superior to my own.

A beep sounds, from Alec's phone.

"Clary went back to hers. Izzy said she wasn't feeling too great."

"Is she okay?" I murmur, and Alec goes quiet. "Please."

Alec's blue eyes flash to mine in shock. I never say please.

"No." He answers me quietly. "I can't tell you anything else, but she's not okay."

Silently, I move to my piano, Alec's eyes on me. My fingers dance over the keys, and my brother stands, leaning on my instrument.

In an unspoken agreement he begins to sing, and even though I've known him for years, the sound of his voice still shocks me.

Everyone thinks I have the talent. I'm fit, smart, I can play the piano as well as I can breathe. I'm not a bad singer, but I'm nothing like Alec.

"Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions," he sings. I close my eyes, listening to the sound of my music and his voice.

In another few minutes we've finished the song, and we're silent except the faint sound of the keys.

"I think she'll be a good singer. Nearly as good as you." I break the silence, thinking of Clary. "She just has this sound to her voice, you know? Soft and light."

"What did Izzy want to talk to you about?" He asks abruptly and I frown.

"To tell me to leave whatever's in her past alone." I say with a scowl. "To lecture me, basically. Oh, and she said that she thinks you and Clary would make a good team. You're very alike, you know."

He smiles, and so do I.

"You take that as a compliment." It's not a question, it's a fact.

"You meant it as one. To who, I'm not sure, but still." He jokes, making me laugh. It was a ninety minute drive to the stadium from after-school practice, and the races lasted a good three hours, and another fifty minutes to my house.

I know that Clary and Izzy had been there for an hour before we'd arrived. It was only twenty to ten, and Alec and I had a lot to talk about.

"What can you tell me?" I beg. "Anything."

Alec sighs, sitting one the sofa."Her full name is Clarissa Adele Morgernstern. That's her father's surname. Her mothers is Fairchild, but she and Clary aren't close. So, when she turned eighteen, she changed to last name to Fray. 'F' for Fairchild and 'ray' for Gray, after Tessa Grey."

"How do you know this?" I ask, incredulous. Alec shrugs.

"I talked to Clary, Magnus and Bat. They've all known each other forever, and Clary and I get along pretty well. As you've noticed."

He sends me a wicked grin, and I smile, my arms tensing. He's teasing me and i know it, that's what drives me mad.

"Clary hasn't had a decent past." He sounds distracted now, and Alec isn't even looking at me. "Attempted murder victim. That's all I can tell you, about her past. She races, but her passion is painting."

I drop the subject, not wanting to overwhelm myself, and I grin." So, Magnus, huh?"

My brother blushes and ducks his head, black hair where his face was.

"Oh, look at that! It's my bedtime! Well, goodnight Jace."

My fingers run over the ivory keys of my piano. "Night, Alec."

* * *

 **ALEC POV**

A sharp flick of leather on my back had me jolting forward, a sound of pain escaping my mouth as I struggled to stay conscious. I could feel myself losing blood, from several places.

A pair of arms hold me down and I struggle when I feel his tongue below my ear.

"Stay still and quiet, Clarissa." He whispers. He bites my earlobe, pushing himself into my torn back, and a face appears in front of mine.

Valentine.

He smiles at me, a wicked smile, and presses his lips to mine, insistent. A hand that was on my arm moves to hold my wrists, while the other groves my chest.

A sudden agony pierces me in my lower abdomen, and I scream.

I thrash awake, the hands on my shoulders feeling like a branding iron. Jace.

"Alec! Alec, it's Jace, its okay, you're okay." His voice shows his panicked and I still, my chest heaving. I push at his chest, and stumble into the bathroom, emptying the contents of my stomach.

I lift a shaky hand to wipe my mouth.

"I'm sorry." I murmur. Jace shakes his head. "I'm going to visit Magnus. He's been trained as a doctor. I'm alright to drive, Jace. I'll see you tomorrow."

Lurching, I move past him, grab Jaces car keys and go. Less than ten minutes later, I arrive at my destination, thanks to my trusty speeding skills. I jog, still shaken up, to their front door. Without knocking, I throw it open, marveled that Magnus left his door unlocked.

The faint sound of crying pulls at my heart and I follow the sound to an open door. Clary has her head on Jon's chest, crying.

"Clary." Startled, she looks up at me and I step forward, ignoring her brother. Without hesitation, she throws herself into my arms.

"Alec." I see Jon leave the room, his head ducking when he passes me. I return the gesture, tightening my arms around the little girl.

"Let's sit down." I didn't want to do this. A deep breath fills my lungs with air. "What was it?"

She shakes her head.

"Your back was hurting." I say quietly, and I'm certain she can hear the quiver and pain in my voice. "He had flogged you... Until you nearly passed out from blood loss. He held you back, got touchy and close. The other one." I swallow. "He kissed you. He... Did things to you."

"What?" She looked horrified. Her green eyes were full of fear.

"I dreamt it too. I was you. But I felt distant."

A sob leaves her, wracking her tiny body forward. Her arms wrap tightly around my neck, and I let her stay there.

"I'm so, so sorry, Alexander." The use of my full name shocked me. "So, so sorry."

She cried hard, and a few tears of my own slipped out. I may be masculine, but I'm human.

"Me too, Clare. Me too."

* * *

 **CLARY POV**

I don't know when I fell asleep. I only know that I was laying on my bed, curled up against a beautiful, black haired boy.

I was lucky I hadn't decided to stay at Isabelles. When Magnus is gone, the nightmares aren't as bad, but they're more frequent. I didn't want to risk it at her family's home.

Without opening my eyes, I knew Alec was still asleep, Jon was long gone and Magnus was still away. It was just me and Alec.

He was warm. This boy made me feel so safe, and I hardly knew him. Suddenly, I could feel his stare on me.

"Hey." I whispered, without opening my eyes. The muscular form of his chest moved as he breathed.

"Good morning." His voice was husky, and I finally opened my eyes, only to see bright blue ones staring at me.

His arm was around my waist still, and I didn't move it. My mind was in other things.

"Alec," I start. "Why do you think we dreamt the same thing?"

He tensed above me and my immediate reaction was to do the same.

"I'll figure it out."

With a sigh I lean my head against his chest, yawning.

"You know, you really are the best."

I'd only gotten a few hours sleep the night before, and my eyelids were heavy with exhaustion. As I drift off to sleep, I hear him reply faintly.

"I know."

"You know," Alec says through a mouthful of food. "You should really talk to Jace."

"What?" Despite what he said, I laugh at the sight of the pancake in his mouth. "No way!"

"Well, I think you should. You like him and he likes you. Neither of you gain anything by avoiding each other. If you're happy around him, and he is around you, then you should be together. Logic, girl. Logic." He taps his skill with his plastic fork, watching me.

Shrugging, I stare back at him. "Friends. I'm willing to be friends with him. What are we doing today?"

"It's eight O'clock on a Saturday morning. Obviously, you, me and your new friend Jace are going to hang out at his place. We're going to jam."

He drops his fork, pulling a face as he performs on his air guitar. Laughing, I stand.

"Fine. Let me grab my violin and we'll go."

Alec follows me. "Violin? I didn't know you play."

I pick up the dusty instrument case, and grab my flannel jacket. "Yeah. Can you grab my amp and recorder? Thanks. It's something I enjoy doing, but I'm not great at, you know? What about you?"

"I love motorcycles. As you could probably guess. I sing. It's the one thing I'm really good at. But I take defense classes. To release my energy, I guess. There's a thrill in it."

"Do you or Jace play an instrument? I know he's into music, but that's it." Alec starts up the car and we begin the drive to Jace's home, butterflies in my stomach.

"I mess around on the guitar, but nothing serious. Jace is a freaking God on the piano. So yeah. We're gonna play a few songs, no doubt. Something calm but fun. You down for that?"

I haven't played in a while, and I'm not the most confident in my singing. So really, this is a bit of a leap from my comfort zone. I frown. I'm always in my comfort zone.

"I'm game."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone. I'm not going to make excuses as to why I haven't updated, but I am really sorry I haven't. Things have been flat out busy in my life, and that's all I'm really going to say.**

 **So, as an apology, here is a way overdue chapter.**

 **Enjoy.**

The door opens and I abandon my meal, preparing to rip Alec a new ear. It's half past nine, and I storm out of the kitchen, frustrated. Seriously, he stays out the whole night after screaming his lungs out, and doesn't bother to call or text me?

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood! I swear on the fucking angel, I am going to murder yo-" I freeze, seeing a short redhead.

My heart begins to speed, and I know my mouth falls open slightly. Damn it. Why does she have to be so gorgeous? Her hair spills from her black cap, and she holds a case in her right hand. My eyes fix on her green ones, and I try to put on an easy smile, but judging from the way her eyes crinkled, I'm gonna say it didn't appear easy at all.

"Hi, Clary." I greet, my voice sounding lower than usual, even to me. She blinks, and beams up at me, and I promise, I almost forget how to breath.

"Hello, Jace. I'm sorry if I interrupted your yelling session; but unfortunately, I cannot let you kill Alec. He's become my new best friend, I'm afraid."

For the first time, I look at Alec, who has a small grin on his face. I fold my arms over my chest, leaning against the wall. "Is that so?"

Alec hums in response.

"Yep. You jealous, Blondie? Now move your fat ass and offer your guests a beverage." He shoves past me, sending me a wink. After he leaves, I throw a glance at Clary, who's laughing softly. I feel my insides melt at the sound, and I know I'll remember her laugh forever.

"Is he always that sassy?" She asks, moving a strand of hair behind her ear. I nod, and begun to lead her to my kitchen.

"He used to be really quiet, obviously, he still is, but a different kind of quiet. He came out last year, and after a while gained a lot of confidence. So now he says what he wants. Do you want a drink?"

"Black coffee, thank you. Two sugars." She sits down, placing her case on the ground.

A sudden thought pops into my mind randomly. I remember back to when we were introduced, but the thought clashes with something Alec said yesterday.

"Hey, Clary? Why are you listed as a Fairchild at school but legally your last name is Fray?"

"My mom said I could stay with Magnus if I kept her name st school." she answered distantly. "Listen, Jace."

Her voice is serious, and I feel my stomach drop. But I try to hide my nerves, turning to face her slowly. Her eyes are on me, but are unfocused, almost like she's looking through me. Her fingers fiddle with each other, and that's how I know she's nervous, too. The fact makes me relax. It can't be too bad. If she's worried, then it's not going to be something like she hates me.

"I was speaking with Alec, this morning. And I'm willing to be friends with you."

My mind stops for a second. She's willing to be friends with me? Willing? As if she doesn't want to be friends with me, but if she has to she will? The words make me angry, and whether it's rational or not, I'm hurt and pissed off. For a second, the whole thing seems ridiculous and I laugh.

A look of hurt and confusion sweeps across Clary's face, but I don't care. "You're willing to be my friend?" I ask, and when she nods, I laugh, glaring at her.

"Clary, if you don't want to be my friend, don't. Oh, now I see. You said you spoke to Alec? Clary, I don't know what he said to make you say that, but I don't need friends. Nor do I want anymore, especially if they are simply 'willing'."

She stands up, hardly reaching my shoulders height, and starts to leave. As she reaches the doorway she turns, not looking at me.

"Tell Alec that my brother wanted me home, and that I'll see him at school on Monday." She speaks calmly, but there's a slight tremble in her voice, and it makes me madder. Why should she be upset? With that she leaves, and I hear the front door open and close. I'm still standing there, staring angrily at the ground when Alex walks in. He looks around, and turns to me.

"Where's Clary?"

 **Clary's POV**

I walk with my head down, hands in my pockets. Why did he have to be such a jerk? I offered my friendship, and what a good offer that seemed to be. My fingers twitch, aching to draw or play my instrument, and I realize I left my violin at his house.

"Who cares?" I mutter, kicking a pebble. I turn the corner, nearing my apartment when my phone rings. I fish it out of my bag and see my brothers name. I slide to the green picture, bringing the phone to my ear.

"Hey, Jon. What's up?" I try to sound cheerful.

"Clary, Jocelyn just called and said she's in the city. I don't want you to come, but I'm gonna be away til Monday afternoon. Have you got somewhere you can stay?"

Trying not to panic, I hold the phone between my ear and shoulder as I dig out the keys for my home. I let my falsely happy voice drop into a flat one. "Not really, Jonathan."

"What about Alec? Can he come over?" He asks, and I feel my heart rate go up slightly. I close the door behind me after I enter the apartment, dropping my bag on the couch before continuing down the hallway.

"I'll message him, but do you have to, Jon? Can't you wait 'til Mags is back?"

"I can't." He sounds pained, and I try again desperately.

"Can I come with you? Please, Jon?" I turn into my room, picking up my smaller art box.

"Clary, you know you can't, now stop asking!" Jon says sharply, and I go quiet.

"Okay, Jonathan. I'll ask Alec. Have a good time. Love you." I hang up before he can answer, holding my phone tightly in my right hand. First Jace is a total dick, and now my brother has to leave. Wandering into the kitchen, I place box on the counter, sitting on one of the stools. I pull out my phone, opening a number.

 **C: Hey Alec. I'm sorry I had to leave, but my brother needed me home. What are you doing tonight?**

I set my phone next to me, leaving it on, and begin to take the supplies I want out of my art box. A thick sketchbook, graphite pencils, outlines of various thickness', and watercolours pencils.

His reply comes through a few moments later, and it blurs slightly as my eyes read it too quickly. I read slower, and disappointment fills me.

 **A: that's fine. Jace told me. I'm going to the movies with him tonight. Maybe can hang out tomorrow?**

 **C: if ur busy, I understand. See u Monday**

I exit the conversation, select a contact number, and put my phone on speaker.

"Clary! It's been forever! What's up?"

Immediately, I grin, beginning to draw.

"Simon! I've missed you so much! I just wanted to know if you're up to hanging out tonight? We can have a Harry Potter marathon?"

He laughs and I do too. I've missed him so much. Since he moved schools we haven't seen each other as much, but we still talk almost daily.

"Of course, Fray. Is Bat coming?" he asks excitedly, and I guess it's contagious, because my disappointment about Alec leaves and an addictive excitement builds up.

"By the angel! I didn't even think of Bat!"

"Ring him!"

"I'm ringing him!"

I add Bat's number and he picks up withing the second ring.

"Wassup Fray?"

"Bat!"

"Lewis?"

"Yeah, man! You up for a night at Fray's?"

"Hell yes!" I laugh, continuing my drawing. "It's been what? Four months since we've done something together? Of course I'm down! I'm gonna guess Harry Potter?"

"Duh. What else is there?" I ask, enunciating each word clearly. "Make sure to bring that horrible Ravenclaw scarf of yours, Bat."

"It beats being a Slytherin!"

"Now, now, my children." Simon coos. "I think we can all agree that my house, Hufflepuff, is the best." Bat and I immediately protest, and we drown each other out in our shouting. Finally we stop, out of breath.

"Alright. Lewis, you got snacks, I'll buy pizza and drinks. Fray, you just gotta give us love and comfort, baby."

"I think I can do that, Bat. Meet up at one?" I swap my graphite pencil for my fineliner, and begin going over the lines I've made.

"That should do," Simon says. "I've got to go shopping, it seems. I'd best be going."

"Don't forget your onesie!"

"How could I?" Simon hangs up, and I just me and Bat.

"How are you, Clary?" he asks, a note of amusement in his voice.

"I'm good, just drawing. You?"

"Excited. Whatcha drawing?"

I look carefully at my picture. I hadn't been paying attention to it before, my fingers just moved as they wanted. But I study the picture now, starting from the angular jaw to the strong cheekbones. Wisps of hair rest over his forehead, and my chest aches, badly, when I figure out who it is.

"A person. You know how I space out when I draw. I wasn't paying attention. Anyway, Bat, I gotta run. I have to find the movies and clean up a bit. I love Magnus and Jon, but, holy shit, they are nearly as messy as me" I chuckle, distracted.

"Alright, Fray. I'll see you soon." He ends the conversation, and I stare at my picture, sighing. I want to destroy it; the sight brings on a feeling of hatred. But at the same time, I need to finish the picture. So I grab my watercolours, and get to work.

It's half past twelve by the time I'm finished my drawing, and as much as it hurts to look at, it's a brilliant picture. The portrait itself is amazingly accurate, but the way I coloured it perfected the picture. Pale creams and yellows made most of the face, with a tad of faint grey under the eyes, which are a complex, emerald green. I made the background splatters of blue, red and yellow, which ultimately leads me to having faint traces of purple, orange and green.

"You did well, Fray." I mutter, standing up. I make my way to the study, which has wardrobes with spare blankets, pillows and whatnot. "Harry Potter, Clary. We're looking for Harry Potter. Aha!"

I pull out my special blanket, a wonderful green with bits of silver. I pull out two other blankets, cringing at the blue and bronze, as well as the yellow and black. Disgusting. Humming, I pull out matching cushions, and bring them to the family room. I drop them unceremoniously onto the floor, and unfold the couch mattress, and position the pillows, as well as the blankets.

I place Bat's first, then mine, and just as I'm placing Simon's the doorbell rings, and I run to open the door.

"Simon!" I squeal, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging my legs around his waist. He walks into the apartment, kicking the door closed and drops the bags he's holding. He hugs me tightly, laughing. Tears build up in my eyes, and I bury my head in his neck, smelling his cologne.

"Fray! Why are you crying?" But his voice cracks and his arms tighten around me. Something wet drips onto my shoulder and I pull back, smiling although tears make him blurry.

"I've missed you so much, Simon."

"I've missed you too, Clare. Now, let me put you down and get these snacks on the table. You're like a panda." He jokes, but doesn't make a move to put me down. The door opens and reveals Bat, who gives a shout.

"Lewis!" He too joins the hugfest, hugging from Simon's back. He sees the tears in my eyes and his eyes water to. "Fuck, you guys. Now I'm crying." I slide off of Simon and he and Bat hug for a minute in silence.

"You guys ready for this?" I ask, finally.

"Of course, Clary."

"Cant you see the magnificent scarf?" I screw my nose up at the material around Bat's neck. I make a gagging movement to Simon, who laughs with a nod.

"Hell yes to that, Red. Now, let me put all of this sugary goodness in the lounge room. Bat, you fat loaf, go get us some drinks."

Bat gives a mocking sigh, and turns to me. "You want a coke?"

"Yep," I answer, popping the p. I follow him, and while he opens my fridge, I move to a tall bookshelf filled with movies. I only get to the second shelf when I find the eight movies, and I grab them with glee.

"I found them. Bat?" He's bent over the counter, looking at something, and it doesn't take me long to figure out what.

"Bat?" I ask again, trying to keep my voice even at the angry look on his face as he stares at my drawing.

"Sebastian." I flinch when he says the name, and Bat looks up at me. He takes a deep breath, and stands up straight. "It's a marvelous drawing, Clary. Looks just like him."

I'm surprised at the comment to say at the least. I try to raise one eyebrow, but, like always I fail.

"You like it?" I inquire in a small voice, placing the stack of movies onto the marble bench.

"I hate it. I hate him. " He says, and I believe him. There's bitterness and resentment in his voice and I sigh. Way to start a good sleepover.

I walk over and grab my drink, just as Simon walks in.

"You're talking about me? Aww." Simon laughs, walking over and picking up my book. His smile disappears pretty quickly.

"Oh. I see." His eyes flit to Bat's. He drops the book and sends me a smile, grabbing his drink. "Are we ready to get this thing started?"

"I'll close blinds and turn off lights." Bat says. He walks past me, dropping a kiss onto my head. "Then I'll go get changed. Fray, Lewis, same goes for you. Red, you're right to set the movie up?"

I nod, Simon and I making our way to the room that is going to be our home for the next twentyfour hours. He pulls his onesie from his bag and I grab mine, beginning to undress.

It's weird, in my opinion, that I can comfortably undress in front of Simon. I don't worry about the scars embedded in my skin, or the fact that my ribs are visible, or my skin is pale and dotted with freckles.

Simon strips off his shirt, revealing his toned abdomen and smooth chest. Our jeans come off next and I sit down to put my legs through my pajamas. Next are my arms, and I turn to my best friend.

"Zip me up, Lewis?" I tease, and he smiles.

"Of course, loser. Turn around." I do, and he zips me up quickly, and steps in front of me, facing away. "Now, do me."

I zip him up as Bat arrives, the room nearly completely dark. He wraps an arm around my shoulders briefly, dropping onto the bed.

"C'mon, Fray. Put in the disc and hand me the caramel jerseys."

"What? No, Bat, those caramel jerseys are mine."

"No they aren't!"

"Bartholomew, I'm telling you right now, that Simon specifically bought those for me!"

"Chill," Simon laughs, picking up two bags. "I got you both a bag. Fray, start the movie."

Rolling my eyes I put the disc in the player, grab the remote and take my spot between my two bestfriends. We watch for hours, without talking, until one of us has to go to the bathroom. Bat leaves, and Simon and I talk loudly to each other.

"Favourite ship?" He asks, and I pretend to think.

"Hmm... Drarry." I exclaim and move behind my pillow, knowing what's coming.

"Drarry? Clare, what fucking drugs are you on now? Obviously, the ultimate ship is Harmony!"

I gasp, and open my mouth to retort when Bat comes back, ending the argument before it could stop.

"Dramoine is the most obvious ship. So shut up, you bitches, and let's watch Emma Watson boss around those two British guys."

It's the smartest thing he's said all day.


End file.
